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Greensboro, NC

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May 14, 2006 Easter 5
Mother's Day

John 15:1-8
"Abiding: One Mother's Story"

It was late march, the year 1990, the mother of all busy times for tax professionals. I'd been working long hours for weeks knowing it's only going to get worse at April 15 th approaches. I was in my office at Coopers & Lybrand, going over the weekly report showing the completion status of all the various individual, partnership and corporate tax returns and the very lucrative special tax projects that I was responsible for supervising and shepherding to completion. And I remember feeling pretty good about the status of my workload and how well I was performing, especially considering what a rough year it had been. The previous September my husband, Ted, had started a very demanding job with a large multinational corporation, so I was covering more of the parent duties than before. Our eight year old daughter, Ryan, had been sick from Labor Day to Thanksgiving with an auto immune disease that took me the whole three months she was sick to learn to pronounce—henoch sholine purpurpea, The treatment of which was greatly complicated and lengthened by her juvenile diabetes and kept her in more pain than had she not been diabetic. Later I would learn that she missed so much school with this illness that she would need to repeat third grade. And that was also the Fall of Hurricane Hugo and we were without power for 13 days 20 hours and 46 minutes by Ted's calculation.

But as we often do when any of us get in a jam, even as adults, I called my mother!! It is amazing at times, that even when we are all grown up, out on our own, and doing very well by the world's standards, there are still times when we need our mothers, or fathers, to come bail us out of a jam.

My mother came and stayed with us several weeks during Ryan's illness. Giving Ryan a buddy to play board and card games with--Kings in the corner, UNO, and go fish with, helping Ryan to take her mind of the chronic pain in her stomach. And having raised a diabetic son, Mom knew all those tricks to get sugar in diabetics to keep them from having an insulin reaction when they didn't feel like eating. You know there's a lot of truth in the saying you appreciate your parents a whole lot more once you are a parent.

But back to the day in late March. There I was sitting at my desk, somewhat congratulating myself for having everything “under control” when all of a sudden, and I do mean all of a sudden, I became violently ill. So ill a co-worker had to drive me home, and within hours I was in a hospital emergency room. Now many of you have been there—either yourself or with a family member—something's wrong, but they can't seem to figure out what, so I'm admitted for observation and further tests. So very late that evening there I am—in my private hospital room, after telling Ted good night and giving him detailed instructions about the girls' morning drill. So there I am alone in the hospital thinking, wow! Isn't this great!! Some one's going to bring me breakfast in bed tomorrow morning, and then I can just lie here and sleep and read. Maybe they'll even have to operate and I can stay home recuperating until after April 15 th !

When came what scripture describes as the still small voice—that thought coming into your brain, seemingly from no where—you know, those thoughts that make you pause and go huh?

The still small voice said to me—what is it? That you have to end up in the hospital before you can begin to take care of yourself?

And so began the slow, sometimes painful and often uncertain steps towards being the recovering supermom you see before you today. The journey away from living my life according to what the world values—being successful in your career, providing your children everything they need—which is never enough-and putting everyone else's needs before my own. Because, isn't that how we Christians are suppose to be? Third? Putting God and others before our selves?

Well, yeah but.

Jesus tells us in today's gospel reading that the only way we can carry the responsibility of discipleship to bear fruit, is to abide in him. “Abide in me.” Jesus says, “as I abide in you. Just as the vine cannot bear fruit by itself unless it abides in the vine, neither can you unless you abide in me. I am the vine. You are the branches. Those who abide in me, and I in them, bear much fruit, because apart from me you can do nothing. Whoever does not abide in me is thrown away like a branch and withers: such branches are gathered, thrown into the fire and burned.”

The question we need to ask ourselves brothers and sisters is this: under whose power do we live our lives?

If we are living under our own power and steam, eventually we will run dry. Unconnected to the vine we will eventually become physically sick as I did, or more often than not for women, falling into depression. Did you know an estimated one third of all American women are on some kind of anti-depressant medication? You have more sisters in your boat than you may realize.

Jesus tells us the only cure, the only way to have the abundant fruitful life he longs for each of God's children to have, is to abide in him—Men and young people abiding in Jesus as well as women. We, women are not alone in trying to be everything to everybody and live up to all the competing should and ought messages the powers of this world bombard us with.

But what the heck does it mean, to abide in Jesus?

Coming to church every time it's open? Spending a large part of each day reading and studying the bible? Having set times in the day for prayer? Well, I don't want to knock these actions, but keep in mind what they are, activities that compete for your time along with job and family activities---actions that are still more about doing, than abiding. There is a big difference between doing and abiding. And I have come to learn the hard way the truism of St. Teresa of Avila , that “the temptation for all good people, is the good to which God does not call them to do.”

I've come to realize that abiding in Jesus, is less about actions and more about attitude of staying close to the sources of life for me. An attitude of paying attention and living this one and only short life we have on earth, with intention, noticing and being grateful for the daily blessings that come our way---a comfortable bed, warm shower, shoes that fit, glasses to see, hot coffee, hearing and saying good morning from someone we love, and this is just in the first few minutes of our day! Abiding means noticing, appreciating the goodness in our living, what and who it is we love and gives us life.

And, so often we live our lives on autopilot, either moving frantically from one routine to the next, one task to the next task, or just drifting along from one impulse or distraction to the next. In both cases we fail to abide in Christ. We fail to stop and ask, “OK God can we plan this day or afternoon any better? “To find time for what replenishes me and still get done what really needs to get done?” I have often been surprised at some of the ideas that have popped into my head when asking Jesus this, and generally they do work out!

Abiding in Jesus, I've come to learn, means noticing what gives me life and love, what grounds me, comforts me, replenishes me, and then actively discovering ways to include whatever that is as a regular part of my life. Or said another way, how is it, that Jesus shows me that he loves me? What has he revealed to me as the fertilizer for the fruit I bear? For me this includes a quiet time every morning drinking coffee from an unglazed pottery mug, wrapped in a shawl given by a good friend, open to whatever thoughts come from that still small voice about planning the day ahead. It's putting the horse of contemplation, before the cart of action. It's realizing that in trying to discern Jesus' will for me, all I can reasonably hope to be sure of, is the next right step, not the exact destination.

Other ways I practice abiding include listening to music, sitting quietly in the evening with Ted by the fire pit in our back yard, exercising. These are way I've discovered that “prune” me, replenish my spirit, so I can bear more fruit.

What replenishes you? And are there activities and habits in your life that need to be pruned away, so that space is made to abide in the love of God?

Today is the day we especially honor mothers, and as we prayed this morning in our liturgy, in a sense all of us are mothers to one another. So today is your day, whether you are a man woman or child, to take some time today for yourself. I encourage you to ask yourself: how does Jesus call me to abide in him? What nourishes me? Sustains me? What is the living water Jesus longs to give me? My experience is Jesus is eager to give you that answer, eager to tell you what changes in your life will help you to abide in him. Let us have ears to hear, and eyes to see, and the courage to follow him.

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